Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99

  (415): View more from California

  Recession joke.

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  (415): Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99 (415): Recession joke. http://tfl.nu/0g53
  Replies (10) Good night (3337) Bad night (916)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.

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  (204): i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week. http://tfl.nu/kpcq
  Replies (5) Good night (4123) Bad night (842)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..

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  (513): i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had (484): please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake.. http://tfl.nu/zph1
  Replies (29) Good night (1004) Bad night (3193)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.

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  (801): He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face. http://tfl.nu/vz1o
  Replies (79) Good night (9072) Bad night (3290)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me

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  (651): I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me http://tfl.nu/s22y
  Replies (13) Good night (4559) Bad night (1537)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.

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  (416): Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment. http://tfl.nu/mdg4
  Replies (9) Good night (8429) Bad night (1124)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.

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  (617): He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all. http://tfl.nu/5q9i
  Replies (10) Good night (5274) Bad night (1400)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....

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  (317): my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys.... http://tfl.nu/ljba
  Replies (6) Good night (3070) Bad night (1062)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.

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  (270): Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best. http://tfl.nu/nsnm
  Replies (4) Good night (2306) Bad night (1067)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  you are way too vulgar to be a girl

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  (717): Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION? (410): you are way too vulgar to be a girl http://tfl.nu/3shx
  Replies (20) Good night (8454) Bad night (1216)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.

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  (315): It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people. http://tfl.nu/powz
  Replies (2) Good night (1112) Bad night (358)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started

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  (248): I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started http://tfl.nu/udux
  Replies (1) Good night (631) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.

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  (+44): Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me. http://tfl.nu/0a0k
  Replies (1) Good night (363) Bad night (305)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL

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  (715): I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL http://tfl.nu/uqw9
  Replies (2) Good night (351) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...

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  (651): They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times... http://tfl.nu/mx07
  Replies (1) Good night (564) Bad night (232)

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