you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.