i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm so proud of us for not dying.