just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize