i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
