My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
