Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
