I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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