saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
