his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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