We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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