can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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