He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
