I'm really into asian looking animals
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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