I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
