She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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