I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
jump out the window naked night went bad
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
