shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
