We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He kissed a someone with a penis
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
