I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i love accidental penises.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
