They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
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gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
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He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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