Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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