I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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