I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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