You're completely useless in the revolution.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
