Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
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I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize