Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
