I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
