Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
