I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
