quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Randomize