Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
