Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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