I feel like abortions should bother me more
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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