Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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