Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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