apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
