shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
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I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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