I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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