My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
