I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
