do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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