So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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