My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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