I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
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