so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
