I heard we made out
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
