I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
