So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
