Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
