i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
