so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
