Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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