i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
