Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize