Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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