Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
