Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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