Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
