Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
