Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize