I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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