I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
