there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
