i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
