I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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