Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
