I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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