chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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