Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
