She is in my trunk
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize